TOP 10 RULES FOR NEW UOW STUDENTS:
TOP 10 RULES FOR NEW UOW STUDENTS:
- Absolutely no talking on Level 1 of the Library; quiet sobbing permitted
- Be prepared for tutorial enrolments, set your watches to the exact second the tab opens. You don’t want to secure a 5:30 Friday night class because you were buttering a bread roll
- You should 100%, most definitely, absolutely go to your lectures, despite most of them being non-compulsory, attendance not being recorded, and them having no impact on your final grade whatsoever*
- UOW is a no smoking campus. If you wish to fistfight cancer, make sure you do it at the Uni Bar
- Don’t raise your hand if you need to leave the classroom. Your tutor doesn’t care if you’re leaving to go to the bathroom or to jump off a bridge
- Don’t say you do Law, Creative Arts or Engineering if you want to make friends
- Every Thursday night, students must complete the pilgrimage from their dorms to the Mecca known as Retro night at Hotel Illawarra
- Don’t call your tutor ‘Mr. …’ or ‘Mrs. …’, unless it is in bed
- There is to be absolutely no violence on campus, exams are the only thing that is allowed to assault students
- Don’t make fun of your friends who decided to do a trade, they’re not the idiots spending $40,000 on a degree in a market with no job prospects
*The Smoking Duck takes no responsibility for any subjects you may fail
