Riley J ¦ Writer ¦ Breaking News
In what was described as ‘one of the saddest displays of human aggression of the 21st century’, local wankers Hunter Gooding and Patrick ‘Paddy’ McCorrmac were escorted from The Grand Hotel, after a fist fight broke out in the smoking area, on Wednesday night.
The two men were overheard discussing the works of Australian Stoner rock band Sticky Finger, when an argument broke out over whether 2013’s Caress Your Soul or 2014’s Land of Pleasure was the bands best work.
“Oh yeah, they were pretty fucking loud, then one of them smacked the other and then the tie dye shirts were off” says eye witness, Blake Russell. This marks the third incident of violence in the Australian Stoner rock culture this week, after a 15-man brawl broke out in Melbourne over the merits of Tame Impala’s Currents, and the stabbing of a Newtown man over his criticism of Violent Soho’s Hungry Ghost.
Grand Hotel staff member Georgia Simmons noted the carnage saying “Three bucket hats were left behind, plus rolling papers. An absolute disgrace.”
The two men are expected to rematch at University of Wollongong’s Unibar on April 20th, when Dunerats perform. Local kebab shops have begun bidding for sponsorship rights.