Daniel R.H. + John I. ¦ Writers ¦ Breaking News
4th year Engineering student Andrew Avery has come to the stark realization that his low pass average has left him in a difficult position as he is set to graduate at semester’s end. The UOW student has realised that his father’s connections within the civil engineering arena will not be enough to placate the 24% he received in last semester’s MATH283 course.
“I couldn’t believe it when he told me,” said Bob Avery, manager at Sydney’s LP Consulting Australia. “I’ve never been so disappointed in my son. The moron still wants me to recommend him to my superiors for a graduate position. I already had to pull strings to get him into Wollongong University in the first place. I’ve been telling my buddies at Golf that my wife had an affair 22 years ago to save me the shame!!”
Andrew has hoped that frantically joining the Civil Engineering Society in his final semester, in addition to a number of other UOW Clubs and Societies, will be enough to negate his atrocious academic transcript.
“Yeah Dad’s pretty mad, saying ‘I’m not his son’ and ‘You are a disappointment to this family’. Y’know, jokes like that. But I think a few months on the Civil Engineering Society should do the trick. I’ve also joined both the Wollongong Socialists and the Capitalist Society, just to show that I have a keen interest in politics. Might also try out for Seeker of the Quiddich club, hey.”
The Smoking Duck can confirm that Andrew will be at UOW’s Club’s Day tomorrow.