Declan Q. + Daniel R.H. ¦ Writers ¦ Breaking News
‘I didn’t have time to play their games,’ said fourth year LLB student Sophie Swan to Smoking Duck reporters. Instead of engaging with the group who hand out flyers adjacent to the library, she simply strutted towards the library doors, phone in hand, eyes down, and moved on with her day at an unprecedented pace.
UOW political scientists, who focus on studying the various university political groups and how to avoid any contact with them, have been interested by the impressive result of Sophie’s approach. After several years of research, and adopting various approaches to avoid the awkward conversation with the politically active, PHD student Isabel Rosandic had this to say about the recent phenomenon:
‘Yes, it definitely is a breakthrough for my research. Along with a team of academics, I have been testing different approaches to avoid being dragged into political discussions with random students at 10:30am on a Monday morning, particularly during the mid-semester period where sleep is scarce.”
Isabel has provided the Smoking Duck with her research as of date:
|1. Recognise the existence of the stall||Walk slowly, make eye contact with the people handing out the flyers, be approachable, and talk to them like they are normal human beings.||Missing the start of a tutorial because of the 30-minute political discussion that ensues. Becoming a member of the club against your initial will.|
|2. Exchange pleasantries||Walk at a faster pace, make eye contact with the people handing out flyers, say ‘hi’ and try to continue on with your day.||Forcibly being engaged into a conversation because you didn’t have the will power to say “no” to their question, “Do you care about human rights?” Missing the start of a tutorial because of the 30-minute political discussion that ensues. Becoming a member of the club against your initial will.|
|3. Challenge the political ideologies of the club||Approach the stall of your own free volition. Challenge the political ideals espoused through using historical sources and examples which explain the weakness in the philosophy.||Being met with a demonic, unison screech from all members of the club.|
‘So yes, Sophie has provided me with a new avenue for discussion about the intricacies of being able to have your rather weak political ideals unchallenged by said students’, Isabel continued.
The Smoking Duck will continue to cover the story as it develops.
More to come.