University security have quarantined a student who has admitted to putting chicken salt on his rice.
Witnesses say they saw officers taser the degenerate after a lengthy standoff in a library study room.
A spokesperson for UOW said priests are on standby to purify the building once the heathen has been removed.
“The heretic will be barred from campus until mystics have purged the impure thoughts from his soul,” the spokesperson said.
“In the meantime, all staff and students who have been in contact with the heretic will be sectioned for the good of the community and assessed for harbouring dangerous food preferences.”
Putting chicken salt on rice is, of course, objectively disgusting, and the The Smoking Duck fully supports the University’s efforts to banish the practice.
May Satan smile on you