Mullet Festival Winner Dan ‘Simo’ Symons represents UOW

Dan ‘Simo’ Symons, who is in his 4th part time year of a Bachelor of Primary Education at UOW, was given the stage at a recently held mullet festival at Kurri Kurri. ‘Simo’ has been proudly strutting his “wicked mullet” around campus for 6 years and decided to finally enter the Mullet Festival Contest, coming first in the “Ranga” category.

“Yeah nah I didn’t expect to win it ay, it’s me first year that I haven’t worn my felt hat around campus ay,” Simo said while scratching his scalp, to which white flakes fell onto his shoulders.

“So, one day I was walking around campus right, and a low hanging tree branch thing knock me hat off. Then some bloke yelled out, ‘Oi! Nice mullet.’” Simo then demonstrates an intense thumbs up attempting to imitate the bloke’s powerful actions.

“And too right he was, I got a glimpse of meself in the library window and thought what a cracker mullet”

Simo continued to express that it wasn’t just all natural talent that secured his competition win. He had to go 7 years without a proper haircut, during which time he continued his intense treatment of regular surfing, never shampooing or conditioning, and ensuring that unless the bouncer at the Illa refused him entry for wearing a hat, he would never take it off.

“I’m blessed with me dads rich Scottish history….I think, but even with that I still needed to keep my hair super glossy for the extra points.”

The kilt wearing Ranga also made sure his opponents from UWS and ANU understood which one of Australia’s Universities were regarded the best for growing “sick” mullets.

“When I beat the kids from the other unis, I congratulated them by challenging them to ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’. Naturally I went scissors, the UWS students didn’t see it coming haha.”

Simo is looking forward to UOW campaigning for the inclusion of “Sickest Mullet Contest”, in the 2019 University Games. UOW have announced they plan on honouring the occasion with a copper cast statue of his mullet to be placed on the Jugglers Lawn, in addition to a scholarship in his name.

I was once a small ugly duckling in a big pond. I grew up to be a bigger, uglier, duck in a big pond.